Now, I don’t want to blame Burl, but he did have to pee, after we got back to our seats from intermission...
It is every mother’s dream to lose her child at the circus. It took 4 days shy of precisely 6-1/2 years for me to contrive a scenario in which Ivo and I would find ourselves separated by a line of not-quite-compliant performing baboons. As the reality that these seats, filled with other blond kids, were our seats … and Ivo wasn’t there was sinking in… I was scanning-the-crowd, I’d asked him 3x if he wanted to come to the bathroom with us – and he was having a good time with the group of kids… and he is 6-1/2 and has been doing a little being-in-public-by-himself stuff – and it’s all gone well so far. But, ahhh , the CIRCUS!!! I am freaking out now – but I wasn’t then. I was in FIND-HIM mode, and I knew I would.
I admit to having had a concern that he might attract the untoward interest of an animal larger than he. I was scanning, picturing him in my head; his blue shirt with #7 on it and a bull embroidered over the left chest and exactly how his hair was – I figured I’d spot those first. I was looking/prowling the stairs, eye on Burl. It was dark. The spotlights were starting to dart around the arena. The rave music throbbed. I decided I could move faster without Burl. I asked the woman next to us if she would keep Burl for me. Burl said fine. I was calm I turned to go and saw the Ringleader, standing in the spotlight with a little boy in a blue shirt with the #7 on it and a bull embroidered over his left chest. His eyes were pointing to the floor in the tremendous light. It looked heavy on him. It looked like he was trying to see out. He looked bright and I thought, “perhaps Ivo is a volunteer-participant from the audience.” I had struggled to hear clearly, the mic was sooo loud, the music, all beats and lights. I was wondering how Ivo was doing, if he had wanted to volunteer or had it been an accident? had he answered a quiz-style question correctly? The ringleader said something about “lost boy,” “mother,” “he’ll be at the sound system.” Had Ivo realized what he was doing?
The woman next to me said she’d watch Burl and I walked up a flight, over and down a flight, was passed by a baboon at the end of a family of marching baboons. Crossing the arena floor, I approached the sound system, not seeing Ivo. The thought of the loose baboons and the whatever-else animals there were returned. Where could he be? I had just seen him… in the spotlight. Long seconds later, he was behind the sound tech. The technician’s back was to him. The circus was not set up to mind errant waifs. Ivo was really on in own, in the center of a strange cement land full of circus animals. He was freaked.
We didn’t make a big deal of it. It’s fine now. I think this is like earthquakes. I know someone who was hit by lightning twice in his life. I do not know anyone who has had their house fall down in more than one earthquake. I will not lose him at a circus ever again. Ivo will not lose his way at a circus. He will never again windup standing in the middle of a one-ring circus, under the bright lights with the cheesy, preposterously dressed, booming loud ring leader. We have a better understanding of crowds, lights, excitement, impulse control and both of our judgments.
There is more to tell of tball, father's day and others - but not now.
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